-a black heart means so much-

It means a spider who bites you in the night
and whispers, “the only way out is through”

it means a wound that rejects the poison
and gives you hallucinations of the face of god

who hates you and loves you because
he is everything that ever existed

it means a doctor who gives you Benadryl
and tells you you’re crazy

it means wishing death on someone who called
a shadow on the moon a stain

it means beginning to drink when it’s almost one
in the morning

because you don’t know if you’ll ever see
another glimpse of those eyes except in dreams

in person
it means goodbye, maybe hello

we are waving at each other in my dreams
you stand in the doorway

are we waving hello or goodbye?
there is no aloha in my life

no necklace of flowers around my neck
to bid me welcome

it means being replaced in the midst of some
alternative reality family drama

someone stole someone from someone —
is that even possible?

maybe I should just stop
but that’s never been like me

a black heart means so much
it is simply there